Category Archives: Head

Psalm 106: Karen’s Remix

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I read Psalm 106 last week and there were certain verses that stuck out to me:

They did not remember the abundance of your steadfast love;
yet he saved them for his name’s sake;
then they believed his words; they sang his praise;
but soon forgot his works, they didn’t wait for his counsel.
Nevertheless, he looked upon their distress when he heard them cry.
For their sake he remembered his covenant, and relented according to the abundance of his steadfast love.”

I re-wrote Psalm 106 in my journal:

I don’t remember the abundance of his steadfast love,
yet he saves me for his name’s sake,
and I believe his words; I sing his praise.
But soon I forget his works.

I don’t wait for his counsel.
I get jealous.
I cause dissension.
I exchange the glory of God for the approval of man.
I forget God, my Savior.
I despise the gifts I’ve been given; I yoke myself to slavery.
I disobey.
I serve my idols.
I make myself unclean.
I anger God.

Nevertheless, he looks upon my distress; he hears my cry.

Save me, O God, that I may give thanks to your holy name and glory in your praise.
- Psalm 106:47 (Karen-ized)

A Jealous and Good God

“…for love is as strong as death, jealousy as fierce as the grave…Many waters cannot quench love, neither can floods drown it.”
Song of Solomon 8:6-7

It’s interesting to me that one of God’s names is Jealous. I have never started my prayers with, “O Jealous One,” yet scripture states that the Lord’s name is Jealous (Ex 34:14). And because I didn’t understand it, God saw fit to let me experience it. He is jealous for our affections, and will stop at nothing to get our hearts. He will pull away every prop you lean on for support other than him, he will dash every hope you have that will pull you further from him, and he will not stop until you get to Him. He doesn’t want a people that love him for things, but a people who love Him for Him. The only way that God can be jealous for our affections and still be good, is if getting Him is better than everything else. Then, He’s the greatest good. Like Paul we can say, “I may have nothing, yet I possess everything.” (2 Corinthians 6:10)

This means for those of us that deal with control, we may quickly find ourselves in a situation we cannot control. Or when we are living for approval, we may be rejected from the very people we want value from. Those of us who love being comfortable, will quickly find ourselves in very uncomfortable situations. In the moment, none of this seems loving. But God is jealous God, and will do whatever it takes to keep us deeply tied to him. And this is truly loving. This must mean that when we feel the many waters crashing down on us, they will not quench God’s love for us. They may in fact be the very loving plan of a jealous God to get you to Him.

Image from: http://simplycamylla.blogspot.com/2011/06/give-away.html

He Could Bear it No Longer

But the Israelites said to the Lord, “We have sinned. Do with us whatever you think best, but please rescue us now.” Then they got rid of the foreign gods among them and served the Lord. And He could bear Israel’s misery no longer.
- Judges 10:15-16

After their 40 years in the desert, you’d think that the people of God would improve their record a little–get their act together, make sure everyone’s on board, set up some accountability and reasonable goals. But again and again as we read through their history, they fall away from the way they should be walking: in a covenant of loving obedience to the One who chose to bless them. I’m reading through the history books of the Old Testament these days and groaning every time I come across the phrase, “Again the Israelites did evil…” though of course I know that their history is a foreshadowing of my own.

But then I got to the verse above, where God could bear their misery no longer, and it stopped me mid-groan. This particular time, Israel’s in a real pickle because they’ve become major idol worshipers. They’ve forsaken God –uh-gain– despite some of His most unbelievable miracles in all of humanhistory happening just a few generations before. They’re prostituting themselves before the gods of Aram, Sidon, Moab, and so on.  Now they’re oppressed, beaten, wounded, defeated, and they come crawling back pathetically to the God they rejected. They swear their loyalty and promise (again!) to love and serve Him only.

Fool me once, shame on me; fool me twice, shame on you. Right?

Not according to God, apparently.

His inability to bear Israel’s misery led to their restoration and victory, for a time, until they decided they were finished with Him again. But God’s inability to bear the misery of His beloved is a relentless force. Ultimately it took on human form in Jesus, who likewise was moved with agonizing compassion when He looked on crowds of people needing a Shepherd, needing healing, needing truth.

If we get a little nerdy with the Greek, there’s a great mental image here. Jesus’ response of being “moved with compassion”, as Mark likes to write, comes from this awesome Greek word. The root word is “spleen.” Yeah, like the organ. It sounds strange but if you think about it, we talk about feeling things “deeply” or “in our core.” Just as God was unable to bear the Israelites’ misery no longer and moved mightily to rescue them, so too did Jesus feel kicked in the gut with agony at the reality of people’s pain. Ours is a deeply compassionate God, far beyond our own standards or even comprehension.

I tend to think that God’s attitude toward my rebellion is what my own attitude would be toward a bad friend or my misbehaving toddler: eventually I get fed up. Reluctant to forgive. Unmoved.

Not so, my God. And it’s a good thing: His love is so fierce and high and wide and deep that He can bear our misery no longer and continues to rescue.

Bible Marathon

Y’know those lists you can create on Facebook, so that you can select which group of your friends to see? Perfect for wanting to see a news feed of family only, or classmates, or maybe you have a list with a more descriptive name like “Stalkers” or “Ladieeeez” or “Thursday Night Swashbucklers”. One of my lists is called “Acts to Follow”, and consists of people that I would like to emulate. A person on that list is named Garry Friesen.

Dr. G, as hundreds or maybe thousands of people know him, has been a professor at Multnomah University since before I was born. I’ve never met or even heard of a person who knows (and deeply loves) the first five books of the Bible as much as Dr. G does.  I could write a long and glorious blog about the dear man, but that’s not what this post is really about. It’s about a Bible-reading revolution he kinda made up and has now introduced to people all over the world. The Bible Marathon.

DO THIS. CALL YOUR FRIENDS AND MAKE THIS HAPPEN.

Take a minute and answer this question as honestly as you possibly can: What is the longest portion of Scripture that you have ever sat down and read all at once? Or maybe, what’s the longest amount of time you’ve ever spent reading the Bible? Please, really do answer those questions for yourself before you go on.

Did you answer them?

We’ve gotten so far away from how to dive into the written Word that God has given us.  Fifteen-Minute Devotional books fill the shelves, and we so easily wrap up cute little bows on a verse or two, maybe a chapter, unless we’re feeling really spiritual and tackle three or four whole chapters in one day!

The Bible Marathon is this really wonderful, exhausting, heart-changing idea in which a group of people set aside the better part of a day to read a massive, and I mean massive, chunk of Scripture aloud.  A group of about 10-20 people works best, and depending on what books of the Bible you choose to read, your marathon can take anywhere from 2-18 hours.  I bet you can imagine how taxing, difficult, and AWESOME that is.

Here is a link with suggested guidelines for a Bible Marathon, including a helpful chart of how long a certain chunk of the Bible should take to read this way.

Do it. I’m so not kidding. And invite me.

Photo Credit: Restless Pilgrim

The Astonishing Truth

“I am astonished that you are so quickly deserting him who called you in the grace of Christ and are turning to a different gospel.”
- Galatians 1:6

This is my tendency, and perhaps every Christian’s tendency.

To desert him who called me.

To desert the grace of Christ.

To turn to a different “good news”, which never ends up being good at all.

This is insanity. Turning and fleeing from the One who loved me and gave Himself for me. Deserting the only One who can give me life, the only One who can care for me perfectly, the only One who can rescue me. Sheer madness.

Then as if that wasn’t enough, I abandon the “grace of Christ”. It’s never a deliberate decision. I don’t wake up in the morning and say to myself, “I want to have nothing to do with the grace of Christ.” No, instead it’s a subtle drifting. It’s giving an ear to the enemy and listening to his voice. His crafty voice whispers thoughts of, “It’s not fair,” or, “You deserve better.” And in a blink of an eye I believe the lie that God is withholding from me. I start to think He isn’t kind to me. My view of God’s grace becomes clouded by untruths.

My perspective rolls down a slippery slope. With no clear view of grace, I turn into an “elder brother” who thinks he can put God in his debt by his good deeds. All of a sudden I am far, far away from grace and I’m trying to earn the Father’s favor.

You are no longer flirting with abandoning grace, when you sense that you are starting to hate grace. Especially God’s grace towards others. You are in dangerous territory, and it’s safe to say you have officially deserted the grace of Christ.

Then we turn to a “different gospel”. A different word of “good news”. Maybe it’s the news of self-protection, or the news of anger, or the news of self-pity. The “good news” of license–just do whatever you want, God will forgive you. And there’s the “good news” of legalism–just make rules to control those around you and God, then you can get what you want. Whatever the “different gospel” that you and I listen to, never ends up being good news at all. They aid in our self-destruction. They eat away at our souls and make us ineffective in God’s kingdom.

It is necessary that God keeps me anchored to his grace. I find myself praying that I would be blown away by a fresh wave of grace every minute. I need Him to sustain me and keep me tethered to Him who called me. It is astonishing that I so quickly desert Him, but it is more astonishing that He keeps coming after me and rescuing me. This is indeed good news.

Counting Everything as Loss

Yesterday, I was memorizing Philippians 1.  I kept reading and re-reading verse 21-23:

“For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. If I am to live in the flesh that means fruitful labor for me.  Yet which I shall choose I cannot tell.  I am hard pressed between the two.  My desire is to depart and be with Christ, for that is far better.”

This made me wonder whether I truly hold Christ above all else in my heart. Am I so in love with Him that I would gladly leave all I know and love in this life to be with Him?  Am I actually eager to look upon His face?

How could I ever really know?  Sure, it’s one thing to say this from the safety of health and the appearance of security.  It’s a completely different thing to say this in the moment you feel your life slipping from you.  Who will I be then?  Panicked?  Afraid?  Excited?  Will I be ready for death new life?

I want to train now for that moment–fully surrendering to Him anything and everything that I know and love, “count[ing] everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord” (Phil. 3:8), and eagerly anticipating the day He calls me home.

“I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.”
- Philippians 3:14

Idol Factory Quality Control

“The human heart is a factory of idols… Every one of us is, from his mother’s womb, expert in inventing idols.”
- John Calvin

It’s far easier to confess sinful behavior than it is to repent from a sinful heart.

I see this often in conversation with Christians. We recognize our anxiety, impatience, busyness, insecurity, lack of prayer… but we end up religiously trying to fix our behavior rather than attacking the source of our sin, which is idolatry.

Idolatry is extreme admiration, love, or reverence for something or someone. An idol is anything that ranks higher than God in our affections, priorities, thoughts, and desires. An idol can be a good thing (i.e. friends, work, health) that we turn into a “god” thing (an idol)–in which case, it becomes a bad thing (sin).

The depraved human heart is like a factory machine that produces broken products.

In order to fix the products (your fruit), you’ll need to fix the machine (your heart). But first, you need to figure out what your machine is producing.

1. IDENTIFY THE PRODUCT: Name your sin.

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.”
- Galatians 5:22-23

Fruit grows holistically. No one eats a blueberry and thinks, “The color, size, and firmness of this blueberry are perfect, but it’s more sour than a lemon. What a great blueberry.”

Reflect on a period of your life, whether it be the last 24 hours or last 24 years. What is your sin? How do you sin? Name your sin. Confess your sin.

Biblical fruit equals spiritual maturity. You’re only as mature as your weakest traits.
- Darrin Patrick

2. Check the machine: Know your idols.

Your heart “machine” is broken. You bear bad fruit because it’s a result of your broken heart. You need to know how your machine is broken before you can treat it.

Assess your sin to find your idols. When do you sin? Why do you sin? With whom do you sin? Against whom do you sin? In what circumstances are you most tempted to sin?

Surface idols are observable idols. The following list (not exhaustive) contains examples of surface idols:

  • Image idolatry – “I must look certain way.”
  • Helping idolatry – “People need to depend on me.”
  • Work idolatry – “I find worth in productivity.”
  • Materialism idolatry – “I must have a certain level of wealth, financial freedom, and possessions.”
  • Inner Ring idolatry – “I must be a part of a particular social or professional group.”
  • Family idolatry – “I must have a spouse/family/children.”

Surface idols can likely be identified through the symptoms: if you’re a self-proclaimed workaholic, you likely have work idolatry; if you daydream about marriage all the time, you may have marriage idolatry; etc.

All surface idols, though, are driven by source idols. Based on your personality and experiences, source idols may take more time to be identified. The following contains examples of 4 main source idols:

  • Comfort idolatry – You desire ease and pleasure. You avoid stress and demands. You find yourself bored/discontent.
  • Approval idolatry – You desire affirmation, praise, sense of worth. You fear rejection. People can feel smothered by you.
  • Control idolatry – You desire security, standards, order. You fear uncertainty. Your tendency is to worry/be anxious.
  • Power idolatry – You desire success, winning, influence. You fear humiliation and failure. People may feel used by you.

Dig deeply into your past. What motivates you? What drives you? You may find that all four apply; however, typically there is one that hits closer to home than the others.

3. Fix the machine: Believe the gospel, kill your sin.

After identifying your source idol(s), connect your behavioral sins to your source idol(s). Notice how your “bad” behavior (sour blueberries) is deeply rooted in your sinful heart (broken machine).

The better you understand how God has designed you and how your past has shaped you, the more deeply you’ll understand your heart. And as you grow in your understanding of your utterly depraved, idol-producing heart, the more clear your repentance from your idolatry will be.

And as you repent, you will bear more Christ-like fruit: fruit that is good all-around, benefits others, and honors God.

“Little children, keep yourselves from idols”
- 1 John 5:21

**For more on understanding idolatry:
- That Idol That You Love, It Doesn’t Love You Back by Justin Buzzard
- Counterfeit Gods by Tim Keller
Church Planter by Darrin Patrick

Looking at Love

“Christ won our salvation. He earned it. God loves us because he loves his beautiful Son and wants his Son’s righteous beauty spread and proclaimed by transferring that righteous beauty to his Son’s bride…The Father’s affection for the Son is so great that he wants millions of faces to look just like Jesus. It’s finally about Jesus.”
- Jonathan Leeman

I am coming to understand that this love doesn’t look like I would expect. God gives us the gift of salvation so that we would look like Christ, the ultimate object of the Father’s love. God doesn’t love us because he sees some worthiness in us, or our potential future good. He loves us based on the worthiness of Christ. This flies at the face of pride, self-righteousness, and human merit. He loves Christ and wants us to look like him.

If God’s love at the moment of our salvation is defined by the fact that he gives us the righteous beauty of his Son, this must also mean that each day of my life God loves me by working, moving, orchestrating all the events of my life so that I look more like his Son.

Deep breath.

God’s love is vastly superior and extremely complex in comparison to our own cultural, self-defined ideas of love. So painful events, emotional wounds, and deep valleys may in fact be the loving tool that God uses to make us more like Christ.

No wonder Paul prayed that the Ephesian church may have strength to know the love of God that surpasses knowledge.

“…that you may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.”
- Ephesians 3:18-19

Book Worm

I like to read. No, I love to read. Here are some of my more recent love affairs:

The Holy Bible (duh: God)

One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp (revelation: finding joy right where you are)

7 by Jen Hatmaker (work: fasting from excess)

Bloom by Kelle Hampton (memoir: down syndrome)

The Great Divorce by C.S. Lewis (fiction: greyhound from hell to heaven)

The Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis (fiction: penpal relationship between two devils)

Give them Grace by Elyse Fitzpatrick & Jessica Thompson (parenting: cut your kids some slack)

Up next:

Kisses from Katie by Katie Davis (adoption)

Reclaiming Adoption by Dan Cruver (adoption)

Seven Days of Waiting

“And Noah and his sons and his wife and his sons’ wives with him went into the ark to escape the waters of the flood…And after seven days the waters of the flood came upon the earth.”
- Genesis 7:7, 10

I grew up reading many of the stories in the Bible, so I constantly have to pray against familiarity. Having this awareness causes me to open my eyes to see new things in old stories.

Noah lived a life of faith. He built an ark having never seen one before nor having been in a flood. Then he guided his whole family into the ark and… waited. They waited for seven days for the heavens to open up and for water to pour over the earth.

I wonder if they felt ridiculous. Or perhaps ashamed. Maybe they wondered if everything they believed wasn’t going to happen. Maybe God wouldn’t be faithful to his word.

Seven days later, God showed up.

Their faith was strengthened and made genuine and God looked ridiculously powerful.

As we all experience our own particular “waiting” may we wait with strong, robust, unshakeable faith in a God who is ruthlessly committed to keeping His word.